letting go and more letting go, then deciding if what's been let go ought to have been held on to. but what is there to decide? this deciding is another holding on, another not letting go, in this case to a shadow, not to the thing but to the longing for the thing, a shadow of a shadow, holding on to a longing, not letting go of a longing. but the thing let go was no more real, no more substantial than the shadow itself. it was the longing, not the thing, always, that you were holding onto.